After Harry died, I spoke with a few other widows who shared with me extraordinary encounters or occurrences that happened where they felt like they got one last interaction or word from their husband – that they were ok. After my dad died I had a dream where I was on the top of a hill (think Sound of Music, the hills are alive). My dad took me in his arms and spun me around like a child and I flew through the air laughing and enjoying my time with him. I interpreted that to mean that he was ok. But, then again, maybe it was just a dream.
Does God work in our dreams? Why wouldn’t He? He’s God. He created the entire universe and beyond. He can do pretty much whatever is in his character to do. But did God directly send me that dream? I don’t know. Sometimes you just don’t know for sure, so you take it for what it is and at the very least, it is comforting. I felt like I really spent time with him. And it left me feeling love in my heart and for that I’m thankful.
But for those of you who have read my blog from the beginning. Things seem to happen to me that don’t happen to everyone. The circumstances of Harry’s death, and my job interview, and job, and finding this church family all in the same moment. The timing…of it all….was just mind-blowing.
Yesterday something else happened that I have to share.
One of the pastors at church stopped by my office to discuss with me people’s stories and testimonies that we should record in an interview to share with the rest of the church. He is the follow-up pastor which means when people come forward to dedicate their lives to Christ, he sits with them and counsels them on the decision they made and gives them a place to start. He hears their stories and sometimes they are amazing stories of what brought them to the moment of being ready to accept Jesus as their Lord and savior.
So he started to share with me saying, “There is this one guy who was at church the day the gentleman died.” And as I heard him say that, I thought he already knew…so I interjected, “My husband.” And the pastor stopped and with confusion on his face he said, “What?” I said, “The man who died at church was my husband.” He said, “What?” I said, “Yeah” and we just looked at each other for a minute dumbfounded. Me that he didn’t know and him for what he was about to share with me.
He nodded his head and took a breath and my interest was definitely piqued. Then he said, “Ok….wow….so you’ll want to hear this. This guy was there that day when you’re husband collapsed in church and it was his first time coming to church. He left that day feeling bad, and weird , and decided that if this happens at church he wanted no part of it and wouldn’t ever come back.”
I listened with intent…I couldn’t imagine where this was going. Then he said, “So he left church that day disillusioned and upset and then one night he told me he had a dream. It was the same scenario, same guy, he collapses at church and people are praying for him, and they wheel him out on a gurney just like it happened that day. Except in his dream the man on the gurney turns to him and gives him a thumbs up on his way out of the sanctuary. As if it say, ‘It’s all good man.'”
At this point tears were flooding my face. And the pastor telling me this story had tears in his eyes too. I said, “I’m sorry…wow.” I could see the scene play out in my mind and while this dream was meant to encourage this man, that death was not the worst thing that can happen…to me…it meant so much more. It meant Harry is ok.
God used this pastor speaking to a random man who happened to be at church that day who had a random dream.
He continued and said, “So this guy after having this dream decided to come back to church and he went forward to accept Christ. And that is what he told me when I was counseling him.”
I really don’t even know what more to say. It speaks for itself. Do I believe God orchestrated THESE events? Absolutely. And it makes me wonder too….Heaven is so much more real to me after the passing of my husband. I imagine what it is REALLY like. And of course we will never truly know until we get there. But it makes me wonder if God gave Harry the assignment of influencing people who were in attendance and drawing them closer to God by clearing up misconceptions through dreams. Who knows? Truly, who knows? And of course his first task would be to draw a lost soul into the fold.
But God allowed me to hear one of their stories and it comforted me. Only God knows how many more were touched that day in a way that is unexplainable. I said that it was a tragic day and probably the worst day of my life but it was also amazing and beautiful and hearing this certainly confirms that.
God is so good! He is so real! I swear I couldn’t have written it better if I made it up. All I know is He is continuing to give me these wow moments to show me how real He is. And it is giving me a heavenly mindset. This my friends is exactly what I was talking about in my last blog entry.
It is a blessing sent by God, not to fulfill my need but to instruct and direct me to HAVE FAITH and keep living for Him. WOW.
I’m unable to render any other conclusion. So much awaits us in heaven. Whatever we go through on this earth will be worth it in the end. Persevere…endure…do not lose hope. HE IS FAITHFUL. His intention is to mold us into His image and sometimes tragedy happens to get our attention, and remind us why we’re here. We are all heaven bound eventually. It is the one thing none of us can avoid. And we are given opportunities with every day to honor Him and the life He’s given to us or deny Him and live for ourselves. That choice has consequences. But it is truly ours to make.
Is my husband in heaven? I do believe He is. I will see him again and I certainly can’t wait. But in the meantime. I will not live a perfect life but I will do my best to keep this perspective in check. Every complaint, discouragement, nuisance, and of course every blessing…should be seen as God’s loving hand guiding us toward Him.
How we respond is up to us.