Today and Everyday

After a long day at work, Harry comes home, puts his feet up on the couch, smiles and is completely there for me.  It’s something I’m so grateful for, that he can leave work behind.  What little time he has away from the 0’s and 1’s of his programming life, I know he will give to me 100%.  We spend much of that time kissing, looking into each other’s eyes, and telling each other how much we are so very much in love.  And in the midst of our conversation, he usually says, “Marry me.”

It might seem silly, because we’re obviously already married.  But I love that he asks and I hope he never stops asking.

I go to a church where the pastor often gives what’s called an “altar call.”  He asks people to choose to commit their lives to Jesus Christ.  It typically results in people joining him in a prayer of commitment.  Sometimes that process is criticized for never getting beyond the basics and to the meat of what it means to be a Christian.  But I think if you take for granted that being a Christian was your choice to begin with, it is easy to take the gift of salvation and the power of the Holy Spirit that you’ve been given for granted and see Christianity as just another religious philosophy.  It was a gift extended to you that you had to say yes to…it’s a great reminder.  So each time I say the prayer to myself along with the pastor, and choose Jesus again.

When Harry looks in my eyes and says, “Marry me.”  It’s the same thing.  We chose each other to love and cherish.  To love as Christ loved the church.  To honor.  And every time he asks me I am reminded of what I promised to do for him.  And I choose to do that again.

Sometimes people scoff at other’s who renew their vows.  I’ve actually heard people say, “There shouldn’t be a reason why a couple should have to renew their vows.  It should only take one time and that one time should be honored.”  But to that I say…

Pride comes before a fall, and we all need reminders because the human condition seeks comfort, pleasure,  and is ultimately selfish by nature.  If we think “it” won’t happen to us, you’re wrong.

I was waiting for my Harry to come home from a week away at a hotel lounge.  It was Friday night, and his flight didn’t get in until midnight.  So he got a hotel room for me so we could crash as soon as I picked him up.  His flight was delayed though.  Los Angeles was energized because the Los Angeles Kings were in the Stanley Cup Finals, and the hotel we were at was the media host for the games.  As I sat at the bar sipping my wine, a handsome foreign guy sat down next to me.  He happened to be a commentator/producer for his homeland and we struck up a conversation.  Harry texted me that he would get a shuttle back to the hotel and for me to relax and enjoy my wine.  I did.  I wondered if the guy could get us tickets to the big game, and we had a playful exchange that ended up with him leaning in for a kiss.

First of all, I’ve decided to NEVER drink alone at a hotel lounge EVER again.  And second, I vowed a long time ago to never keep anything secret from my Harry. He is the one person I can tell anything to.

So, I told my Harry.  I told him that as soon as that happened, I pushed him away and said, “I’m sorry, I’m in love with my husband, I can’t do that.”  The man politely backed off and that was that.  Harry was gracious to me about the entire episode and we went on to have one of the best weekends of our marriage.  But I was horrified and embarassed that it happened at all.  I never ever want to dishonor my husband.  And temptation is out there.  It’s so easy to let down your guard.  And then what?  Is it worth an ego boost to break trust that is precious?  The answer is the same every time.  It is NEVER worth it.

I thank God that I wasn’t tipsy enough to do something I would regret for the rest of my life.  I’m so thankful for a husband who knows men are pigs and will take advantage when given the opportunity.  I’m just so incredibly thankful.

I know what it feels like to be alone, without a best friend, without the feeling of safety and joy I get from being with my Harry.  I remember what it feels like to feel completely destroyed.  I never ever want to forget.  Every moment of my life, I want to please Harry.  I want to make him proud of me.  He is my love and my life.

I choose my Harry today and everyday.

Say you will.  Marry me.

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